From Narcissistic Bondage to Freedom

Narcissistic injury has become an increasingly common prayer topic on our 3ABN Prayer Line in recent years. While narcissism exists on a spectrum—some forms unpleasant but manageable—there are far more severe expressions that deeply wound the emotional and physical health of those closest to them. These cases are not just difficult—they are dangerous. The smoke and mirrors narcissists use to maintain a public facade while hiding destructive private behaviors can be so convincing that even trained psychologists may need months to uncover the truth.

Make no mistake: the enemy is out to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), and one of his most insidious tools is deception—especially within families.

A recent prayer call left a lasting impression on me. I asked Theresa* if she would be willing to share her story, and she bravely agreed. Even if you are not facing this battle personally, someone close to you may be. This is not a topic we can afford to overlook. It’s time for the Body of Christ to become educated, equipped, and trauma-responsive.

Here’s the testimony Theresa shared with me:         

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“If my story can help just one person recognize the danger signs of narcissistic abuse—or give them the courage to reclaim their life—then it’s worth every word I share. For over ten years, I lived in a fog of emotional abuse, physical neglect, and spiritual manipulation. But the Lord has brought me out, and I’m slowly reclaiming the woman He created me to be.

“My childhood was a mix of pain and hope. I grew up in a dysfunctional home, and my parents divorced when I was eleven. For years, I had no relationship with my father. But God planted a seed in me early. My grandmother, a fiery Pentecostal, taught me to love the Lord. Her faith was real. And it stuck with me. As a little girl, I would record Bible verses on cassette tapes, just so I could hear God’s Word even when I felt alone.

“Years later, when I was in my twenties, my father reentered my life. He had become a Christian and joined the Seventh-day Adventist Church. I thought it was a cult—until one night he invited me to study the Bible with him. I was convinced I’d prove him wrong, but the opposite happened. Scripture cut through my assumptions. The truths I discovered were so clear and beautiful that I knew I had found something real. I joined the church and later helped my mother come to faith, too. Together, our lives changed. I began writing and podcasting, sharing Bible truth and calling people out of spiritual confusion.

“Then came the man who would nearly destroy me.

“We had a teenage romance in high school, and when we reconnected, I was divorced and facing serious health challenges. He was charming, attentive, and persuasive. But there were also inconsistencies. I ignored the red flags because I wanted to believe in the picture he painted of our future. After a whirlwind of love-bombing romance, we married. But within a month, the mask dropped. He had hidden his sordid past and now revealed himself to be a criminal and a narcissist—one who saw me not as a partner, but as property.

“At first, I was confused. He’d build me up one day and tear me down the next—especially behind closed doors. He tracked me with cameras in every room of our apartment, manipulated me spiritually, and slowly isolated me from everyone I loved. But I stayed—not because I was weak, but because I believed love could change him. I prayed daily. I tried to bring peace between him and my family, making excuses for his behavior, smoothing over his blowups. I left him several times, but trauma bonds are real. Like Stockholm Syndrome, I came to depend on him for comfort—even though he was the source of my pain.

“He weaponized my sickness. I was born with multiple birth defects and battled through major health issues, surgeries, feeding tubes, and chronic pain. He liked having a sick wife—it drew attention to him in public and made me easier to control in private. After major surgeries, he would leave me alone in the apartment for days on end, gaslight me, and act as if my suffering was an inconvenience.

“There were times he would air-punch near my face or drive recklessly to scare me. Once, he sat in front of me and cocked his gun, pretending to aim it. I lived in constant fight-or-flight mode. My body burned with stress. My skin was inflamed. My organs weakened. Trauma was literally eating me alive.

“Wheelchair-bound, I couldn’t even leave our upstairs apartment for two years unless someone took me down the stairs. Meanwhile, he intercepted my calls and texts, installed stalkerware on my phone, and likely cheated on me.

“I became numb. I no longer recognized myself. I was a shell. But even in the darkest moments, I heard a voice: “I’m here. I’m protecting you.” The Lord never let go.

“There were glimmers of God’s care—like when the charge nurse at the hospital said, ‘It’s not in your best interest to allow your husband to visit,’ and the hospital made me a confidential patient (restricting his access to my medical information) to protect me. Or when I applied for government housing while staying with my mother and unexpectedly got a call that an apartment had opened up. I didn’t have a plan. But God did.

“Leaving wasn’t easy. I had no income, no strength, and no stability. But I had Jesus. The night I walked away, I knew I wasn’t just leaving a man—I was leaving bondage.

“When I walked into my new apartment, I recognized it was a gift from God. Now, I live free from being tracked, manipulated, or gaslit. I’m still healing emotionally. I still pray for my husband’s salvation, but I no longer believe his words. Truth is necessary for healing, and I’ve learned that healing is a journey, not an event.

“I’ve been on hospice five times. I’ve stared death in the face. But I’ve also held the hands of people in hospital rooms and prayed them into peace. I’ve shared my story with nurses and strangers who needed hope. Through it all, God has made me stronger, more resilient, and more compassionate.

“If you’re in a relationship that leaves you feeling numb, scared, or unsure of who you are—please listen to that still, small voice inside. Pay attention to the red flags. Narcissistic abuse is real. It often hides behind charm, smiles, and even Scripture. But God sees everything. He knows. And He can deliver you.

“Don’t ignore your gut. Don’t make excuses for cruelty. Don’t wait for them to change. You are not crazy. You are not too broken. You are not alone.

“Leaving my abuser wasn’t the end of the story—it was the beginning of healing. My identity is slowly being restored. My faith is deeper than ever. And my story—flawed and messy as it is—is evidence of a Savior who never lets go.

“Isaiah 30:21 says, ‘You will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”’

“I heard that voice. I followed it. And if He brought me out—He can bring you out, too.”

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And, thus, may we all learn a lesson from Theresa’s testimony. If any part of her story speaks to your soul, know this:

You are worth freedom.

You are worth truth.

You are worth love that does not hurt.

 And above all else: You are not alone.

 You are God’s child—and He is fiercely protective of His children.

* A pseudonym