Too Far Gone?

I glanced at it as I drove by, and then did a double take. A smile crossed my lips and a shook my head a tiny bit. Yep. There it was. Another reminder. A note from God. Thank you, God, I whispered.

I’ve always appreciated the effort church staff make to share tidbits of wisdom on their marquee. Sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, they all have a point, and many times I think they’ve picked one just for me.

This time, the quote was something I knew, but needed to be reminded of: “Never give up on anybody…. Miracles happen every day.”

It’s funny how those sayings can trigger other thoughts, because I instantly started thinking of all the “hopeless cases” I knew—alcoholics, drug addicts, derelicts of all sorts who are now my friends. They’re my companions on this journey, and yes, they’re miracles, alright. They’re my best friends, and some of the most grateful people I know.

They’ve spent their share of time living on the streets. Quite literally, they’ve couch-surfed, then moved into the woods, under bridges, into abandoned structures, drug-infested trap houses, and wedged themselves behind the trash dumpsters. In the winter, they’ve tried to keep from freezing by warming themselves in bus stations, gas stations, fast food restaurants, and even Walmart—until they get kicked out. They’ve eaten out of garbage cans, stuffed in all the carbs they could manage at soup kitchens, and stolen candy bars to survive.

Many of them have degraded themselves for another drink or another hit of a pipe, selling their bodies and their souls for a moment of escape. And despite society’s unconscious efforts to ignore them and not see them, God has watched it all.

Now before I give you the impression that I’m better than all that because I’ve never experienced what they have, I will say that there’s another kind of degradation—the kind that’s on the inside. And that’s where my alcoholism took me. For many years I only existed because I couldn’t figure out how to end my own life. Every day I would beg God to put a stop to it all and just take me out of the game, but mercifully, He never did. I was so angry at Him! I couldn’t understand why He wouldn’t answer my prayer for death. The devil had convinced me that I was hopeless—that God wanted nothing to do with me, that I was too far gone. But God wouldn’t give up.

Of course, what I didn’t know was that God had a plan, and He was working things out. Every difficulty brought me closer to that moment of surrender when I was willing to ask Him for help—with no promises on my part, and the desperation of a dying man.

That day finally came when I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I couldn’t swallow one more drink. I was at the “jumping off point.” No matter how much I drank, I couldn’t shut my brain off! At that point, I couldn’t get drunk and I couldn’t get sober, and my alcoholism finally beat me into that magical state of reasonableness. I couldn’t help myself, and cried out “God help me!”

From time to time, I hear someone refer to an alcoholic or addict as “too far gone.” But I know that “no gone is too far gone!” I have evidence all around me, and I see new examples of it every time I gather with them for recovery.

Oh that we would be brave enough to reveal our struggles with each other when we go to church. A few do, but most of the members seem to recoil from them. I guess they worry that if they associate with someone who freely admits  and (gasp!) talks about their deep-rooted problems, their own secret struggles might become visible. Then, what will other people think of me?

I can honestly tell you that I really don’t care who knows I was a drunk—as long as I don’t forget! I’ve long since stopped worrying about my reputation and standing in society if it becomes known. I’ve often told people that if someone talks to me for five minutes, they’re going to hear about my recovery, and they’re going to hear about God, since those are the two most important things in my life.

I rejoice when I meet someone who has been snatched by the loving hand of God from the fires of addiction. And I know that I’m not alone, since Jesus said, “… I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:10). I really do join all of Heaven in that celebration!

Yes. It’s true. “No gone is too far gone!”