Jesus gave His people a very high charge when He said, “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way …” (Matthew 5:25). What a seemingly impossible command! At best, opposing sides determine to discuss the topic later, when the heat of emotion has settled down. But Jesus words are specific.
“Agree.” How can we agree with someone we are at odds with? An adversary is someone we disagree with. How can we follow Jesus’ injunction?
First, we find something in the opposer’s argument we can agree with. We obviously do not agree with their whole position or perspective, but we can find something we can say, “You know, you’re right” about. This does not mean that we will not verbalize our perspective or counterargument at some point, as well. It also doesn’t mean that we will end up being on the same side. It’s just the first thing that comes out of our mouth. Watch it disarm your adversary.
“Quickly.” Let our agreement statement be the first thing that comes out of our mouth. Before we justify ourselves, or defend our side of the story, or what we want to see done, we can acknowledge that we’ve heard and understood the other’s perspective, and that we are seeking to understand them, or at least, their argument. But in order to come up with something we can agree with, we have to listen. We have to listen very carefully.
It takes composure and self-control to listen to an adversary. The ability to not feel threatened or intimidated by words is a level of peace that the Holy Spirit gave to Jesus. We also see it in the life of Paul, the apostle. Jesus wants to fill us with this ability, as well.
“While you are on the way.” The opportunity to represent God’s character by manifesting this quality passes quickly. While it is good to apologize later for losing one’s temper, for not listening, or for being defensive, it’s even better to have that spirit of humility in the moment.
A promise I remind myself of often is that God will not ask me to do something He will not equip me for. All His biddings are enablings. The words may not come out perfectly. We may need some practice and we may be given a lot of opportunities to do just that. No matter how opposed, misrepresented, or outraged we are, let the first words we utter be that of agreement. Do it quickly. “I agree with you, I did …, and I can see how you feel ….”
Abigail masterfully used this technique as she met David on the war path. The result? David and his men were literally disarmed. It will work wonders in our lives, as well.
