I’m a Texan. We’re known for “story swapping”—one person after the other sharing related stories. Sure, sometimes it seems that people are trying to “best” the last speaker, but that’s not really what it’s about—it’s a cultural thing.
I’m a man. The male species has been tagged as the gender that interrupts the one who is trying to share their emotions with a ready “fix” to be imposed on their problem. Off-putting form of communication, to say the least. It shows very little real understanding, and either shuts down the communicator or escalates the intensity of their frustration.
The Lord has been teaching me over the past twenty years how to be a better listener. Did you know that listening is the most important communication skill? Not passive listening, but active listening—listening with full attention and a desire to understand the underlying emotions of the speaker’s heart. Active listening means you don’t interrupt till the full story has been shared. You ask questions to encourage additional details and you don’t react in a judgmental fashion. It is a way to show respect to the speaker and make them feel comfortable.
God has recently helped me understand this process is really a ministry—a “ministry of listening.” Everyone wants to be heard, but in our dizzying swirl of daily activity we seldom pause to truly listen.
True active listening brings healing in its wings. I can’t tell you how often people on the other end of our pastoral prayer line have said they feel so much better after simply sharing their beleaguered thoughts. Just the release of their spiraling emotions has a cathartic effect.
The 3ABN Pastoral Department takes calls from around the world. We hear stories from hearts that are frozen, broken, and confused. But a listening ear opens a passage for them to reciprocate and listen to what the Lord has to say.
I’m writing to you from a hospital bed (that’s a story for a later blog). A couple of nights ago, a very spirited nurse was attending me. Something told me her joking manner was a camouflage, so I began asking questions and listening. I provided her a safe place to share her story, and what poured out of her heart broke mine.
She’s a noble woman who felt she was caught between a rock and a hard place. She felt hopeless and lacked any understanding of how to set boundaries to improve her situation. I asked a few clarifying questions, and by the time she finished talking, she truly trusted me.
I shared how important it was that she learn to establish healthy boundaries, explaining
that God is a boundary-setting God, so setting boundaries in our own lives is following His example. Then I asked her if she believed in prayer.
“Oh, yes, I do—definitely.”
As I prayed the promises of God over her life, she began to gently weep. Soon, she shed more than a few tears, and sighed.
“Oh, I finally have hope for a solution to my problems. Thank you, J. D., for listening to me. Thank you for directing me to listen to God.”
Yes, listening is a ministry straight from His throne on high. It’s a desperately needed ministry in our helter-skelter world. It’s something all of us can do. So, I invite you to actively develop this skill in your life. You will become a trusted friend to many.
Learning to be a good listener is a spiritual discipline. It helps in our growth as Christians. Our Great Shepherd calls to us and bids us to listen to His voice. He will bring us out of trouble if we follow His voice. Jesus said His sheep follow Him because they know His voice (John 10:4).
As you tune your ear for the “ministry of listening” you will find you are the one who is blessed. Your ears will be prepared to listen to His voice, and “Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21.
3ABN’s Pastoral department is available to receive your calls for prayer and answer Bible questions. You’ll find their information at https://3abn.org/pastoral.html
