The room was chilled, but Jay* was not. Singing a soft tune, his caregiver wiped his feverish brow and helped him pull the blanket aside from his bony frame. When he opened his eyes and saw us standing near his bed, the grimace of pain etched on his face faded into a half smile. He welcomed the steady stream of friends who came to say their final farewells.
In a voice that was barely more than a hoarse whisper, Jay closed his eyes and said, “I wish I could have done more. There are so many hurting people out there. I know I’m saved by God’s grace, and that salvation is not of works; but I just wish I could have done more.”
Jay’s checkered past made him an unlikely candidate for altruistic deeds. He didn’t grow up knowing about the Lord. By his own admission, he had been known as a “hell-raiser,” and his consumption of lots of booze got him into lots of scrapes. After a stint in the service, he worked with his brother in the concrete business. Jay wasn’t afraid of hard work.
He then met an elderly woman who was poor and handicapped, and had no one to help her. Jay’s compassionate heart was burdened by her circumstances, so he became her caretaker for a number of years, then continued to help her financially.
But Jay reached the point of being sick and tired of the negatives of life. His heart longed for more, and he cried out to know the Lord. God heard. God answered. For the first time in his life, he felt a real sense of peace and purpose. He wanted to serve this God of love He had come to know.
Learning about the ministry of 3ABN, he moved to Illinois and served as a volunteer for years before he was hired as an employee. Jay worked in numerous positions from grounds keeping to Master Control. He was a valued member of the 3ABN family, but very few people knew the generosity of this man. A life-long bachelor, he lived a simple life in a small trailer that desperately needed a women’s touch. His cluttered space was pasted with yellow sticky notes to remind him of his responsibilities and the encouraging conversations he wanted to share with others. Quite frankly, a casual outside observer might think he was in great financial need. However, few people knew how much this follower of Jesus was quietly and generously helping to support the poor and the needy.
Jay’s work in Master Control provided him time to listen to many ministries featured on 3ABN. When he learned of a need, he contributed financially to help meet the need. He sponsored multiple orphan children overseas, and in the spirit of benevolence, he helped any and all he could without thought of personal gain. He had great enthusiasm for literature evangelism—purchasing and sharing books and Bibles.
Most of us knew Jay as the teller of great personal tales. Speaking without a filter, he sometimes overshared personal details. But he never honked his own horn about his giving. That was something he kept between him and God. He followed Christ’s advice about quiet giving (see Matthew 6:2–4). In a nutshell, Jesus said some people make giving a personal transaction to secure honor and praise from men. But since God knows the secret motives of our heart, those who give to impress others receive their only reward from men. But those—like Jay—who quietly work behind the scenes in secret to help others will be seen by the Lord who knows all, and our Heavenly Father will reward them openly.
Jay lived a full life before cancer struck him. He fought the medical battle for years with quiet fortitude. But this was his final battle. Now, he was in hospice, and his days were numbered. He actually looked forward to resting in his grave until the return of Jesus Christ, because he had assurance of salvation by grace.
Still, he whispered, “I wish I could have done more to help others.”
And he did! Even after he passed to his rest. In his will, he bequeathed finances to care for that elderly woman, for whom he had served as a caregiver, for the rest of her life—and he helped Christian ministries, as well.
God knew the secret motives of Jay’s generous heart. One day, He will reward him openly as He spreads His arms to welcome him into the joy of His presence, saying, “‘‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord’” (Matthew 25:21).
I wonder if God will add something, like, “Son, I’m proud of you for not honking your own horn.”
*A pseudonym
