There I was again—three weeks in a hospital, with back-to-back discharges, only to be readmitted the following day. Daily diagnostic testing, lab work, and all the constant busyness of hospital care. The severity of my illness came in bouts of 48–72 hours which led to dangerous dehydration, followed by 5–7 days of feeling not-so-sick before the cycle repeated. Malnourished and anemic, I lost 30 pounds in a month.
Lying there in my bed, I finally experienced the moment of quietness I was longing for. Ah, it was good not having someone coming at me with needles, tubes, and pills from all different directions. A favorite verse came to mind: “The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.” Isaiah 32:17.
But my peace was disrupted by a sudden sense of self-pity. Why couldn’t they figure out what was wrong with me? How much longer did I have to endure this mystery illness? As quickly as the thought came, the Holy Spirit reminded me, “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.”1 Corinthians 14:33.God would direct my doctors to diagnose me.
My peaceful moment was interrupted by bedlam. I heard a troubling sound. My roommate in the next hospital bed was gasping for air, and screaming for help in a crackling voice, followed by yet another struggling choking spell.
I heard a blaring voice coming from the hall speaker—“code” something or other. Our room door swung open, and a team of doctors and nurses rushed to his side, jerking open the track-curtain between our beds. Charles (not his real name) was in the midst of a serious seizure with arms flailing and legs twitching against the restraints they used to keep him in bed. A flurry of activity followed as the team efficiently managed the situation, and quietness settled in again like an evening fog.
My private pity party had come to an abrupt end. As I witnessed his urgent situation, I had prayed earnestly for Charles and the medical team. How could I feel sorry for myself when what I faced was nothing like his battle with stage five Parkinson’s disease? This precious man—who had a cherub-like face, sweet smiling eyes, and a true love of music—was in the final stages of his life struggle. He had been hospitalized for 32 days, receiving care from a loving nursing staff, but simply waiting for an end-of-life residence placement. His dedicated wife spent five hours a day with him as she struggled with her own emotional toil of finding a new rhythm of life without her life’s partner by her side.
Self-pity was banished. I returned my focus to the Lord, knowing He would keep me in perfect peace, if I trusted Him and kept my mind on His wonderful mercies, which are new every morning. My moment of self-absorption was replaced with intercessory prayer for Charles and his precious wife.
Eventually, I was diagnosed with severe lymphocytic colitis and colonic dysmotility. After a two-month battle of increasingly worse symptoms, I was prescribed medication that calmed my symptoms tremendously. My wife Shelley is very attentive to ensure I’m receiving proper nutrition to restore my strength. She is an excellent cook, and makes mealtime a treat—even with my temporary dietary restrictions. Slowly, I’m regaining my strength and am itching to get “back in the saddle” again.
Sometimes, circumstances in life knock us off our horse. Instead of nursing our wounded pride with self-pity, we need to allow the Holy Spirit to dust us off and put us back in the saddle. We need to get our eyes off self and pray for others who are even less fortunate.
Since my last discharge from the hospital, the Lord lays Charles and his wife on my mind frequently. I know that when the Spirit brings someone to mind, it is important to pray for them. Immediately. So, I pray for them often, that God will multiply His mercies and comfort to them.
There’s nothing like praying for others to get my mind off my own problems. In fact, I pray daily for the Holy Spirit to lay on my mind people who need prayer. It’s interesting how everyone you meet needs prayer. No matter what our position or station in life may be, we all need someone standing in the gap for us.
Prayer is a powerful tool and a wonderful ministry. Don’t be selfish with your prayers. Pray for those you meet and those you may never meet—knowing that they stand in need of God’s help. Whatever their need, God has the answer!
