As a non-fiction writer, I’m rarely stumped. I write true stories—mostly of how God has transformed messed-up lives into something beautiful. But how do I begin to describe my own path to recovery? I never dreamed of writing about this subject for 3ABN, but I’m willing to do so in hopes that God will take the worst part of my life and turn it into a blessing for you. That’s just who He is!
The principles that changed my life can change yours, too. They’re found in the Bible, and God has gifted them to all sorts of folks who word them in different ways. God uses all sorts of ways to reach us; therefore, I believe that sharing my journey will help someone, too.
So here we go.
My first drink when I turned 18 activated an illness that ruined my life. Alcohol became the solution to my problems. It wiped out my feelings of never fitting in, never measuring up, and the fear of what other people thought of me. Alcohol made it all better—temporarily.
I didn’t think I could ever become an alcoholic since I didn’t come from an alcoholic family, but within a few weeks, I was a daily drinker. I soon found that when I controlled it I couldn’t enjoy it, and when I enjoyed it I couldn’t control it. (Many years later, I heard that anything I have to control is out of control, already! Who knew?)
Lack of power was my problem, but here’s the first paradox of many: my admissions of powerlessness were what actually saved me!
I’ll skip the horror stories, but I’ll tell you that my loneliness, self-pity, dishonesty, and resentments made my drinking worse. After several years of blackout drinking, I began asking God to stop the madness, but I wasn’t willing to put down the drink. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
However, God, doesn’t give up, so He arranged for me to cross paths with two sober men in recovery, in the same bar, on the same night. One was a total stranger, and the other the bartender. They both told me they’d found a way out. But I wasn’t ready.
A few months later, I emerged from a blackout for a few seconds to find myself staring at my reflection in the mirror. I was a dead man, and in a moment of clarity and despair I cried out, “God help me!” No promises. No demands. I was powerless, and I was desperate. The following day, I walked into a recovery group.
What a paradox. I had to surrender to win. My admission of powerlessness allowed me to take hold of the powerful hand of God, and He gave me a life second to none—and better than most!
By the amazing grace of a God I’ll never fully understand, I’ve been sober since that night in 1989.
Over the next few months, I’ll be happy to share my journey with you, along with the simple divine principles that have not only kept me sober, but have also removed my desire for a drink—along with a great many character defects. I’ll share how He’s restored my self-worth, allowed me to make things right with those I’ve harmed, and given me purpose every single day.
I’ll share about the laughter and the joy I’ve found in recovery, too. Who knew I could have so much fun?
Every day I wake up and whisper, “Good morning, Lord. What can I do for You today?” And when I place my difficulties in His hands, I join One who knows no failure!
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13.
