When God created mankind, He gave us some very special skills. Along with a powerful mind that can put seemingly random bits of information together to draw conclusions, He also gave us the ability to pick up on subtle changes.
I think of this often as I witness that moment an alcoholic takes hold of something I’ve shared and the amazing spark of hope flickers into a flame. There’s just something about their eyes ….
Science has determined that when someone becomes emotionally engaged, their autonomic nervous system responds. Their pupils dilate slightly, their eyelids open wider, and their focus shifts subtly as they look at us more directly. Their facial muscles move, their eyebrows raise a bit, their forehead smooths, and their cheek muscles shift. As humans, we are hardwired to notice the tiny changes in each other’s eyes, and most of us can read emotional and cognitive states from the eyes because they are reliable nonverbal signals.
We’ve all experienced it at one time or another. We’ve all had someone we care about who feels utterly hopeless. Nothing seems to bring them out of their despair. But if we’ve been through a similar situation—like an alcoholic sharing their experience, strength, and hope with another alcoholic—we can watch as they identify with us.
Theylatch on to our words because they carry depth and weight—the depth of understanding, and the weight of experience. And then it happens.
I love those moments because they mark the beginning of a miracle! And how amazing it is that God uses our most painful (and sometimes shameful) experiences to help others. Only He can transform the past events of our lives that were the hardest to get through into powerful tools to encourage others. Hope is thinking, If he made it through, then maybe I can, too.
I am often reminded that God never wastes anything—not even our tears. In fact, He “collects” them (Psalm 56:8) and uses them to benefit others … if we’re willing to share them.
On the other hand, how sad God must become when He sees someone He’s forgiven and restored refusing to share their mistakes and healing with others for fear of what they might think. They will never have the thrill of seeing that spark in the eyes of others. They will miss out on that person’s miracle—and quite possibly lose their own.
Lord, please bring the people I need into my life today and place me in the lives of those who might need me. Please open my eyes so I may see them. Let me hear their cry, and let me love them with all my heart—and as best as I know how.
