After twenty years of working in 3ABN’s Pastoral Department, few things surprise me. I’ve heard the good, the bad, and the ugly stories of human circumstances, but when Lisa* called last week, the story of her troubled relationship had an interesting twist I’d never heard before, and I thought it was worth sharing with you.
“I adored my husband,” Lisa began. “Oh, I loved him so much that serving him was the purpose of my life. But I’ve spent the last year and a half drowning in tears, crying out every night, ‘Lord, help me!’ But the pain never ceased. Twenty-seven years of marriage unraveled before my eyes. My husband, the man I built my life around, became a stranger—living as if he were single, betraying my trust again and again. The man I once idolized became someone unrecognizable—shaving his head, drinking excessively, and falling into bad company. His yelling and chaos reverberated through our home. I found evidence—credit card charges, bank statements, hotel receipts. While we were together, I had undeniable proof of his unfaithfulness at least five times. But when I confronted him, nothing changed in his behavior. He gave me a sexually transmitted disease while giving another woman children out of wedlock.”
Lisa went on to explain how darkness fell over her home. Her husband, once a hard worker, had become entangled in the drug trade. Fear gripped her as she fell to her knees begging God for direction. Her Bible opened to Micah 2:9–10. The message seemed clear: her home was broken, and God could not bless dysfunction.
That week, she grabbed her children and fled. But fear and temptation led her back. She stayed, using the money he earned from sin for her own pleasures, becoming as guilty in her mind as her husband was, until the inevitable happened—he was arrested. She couldn’t bear to tell their children the truth. “He’s in Mexico,” she lied. But their young hearts missed their papa, and they kicked and screamed for him, their cries of anguish piercing her soul. Her young son’s innocent prayer—“Jesus, I know you can bring Papa home. Give my mother and sister faith to believe”—echoed in her heart.
Three months later, she bailed her husband out, fought for him in court, and witnessed miracle after miracle. That’s when she had begun calling 3ABN—fifteen years ago. Prayers with our pastoral staff carried her through as the case against him collapsed. But their struggles continued. Forced to leave their home, they found refuge with her sister for a year, then moved into a house of their own.
At this point, I interrupted her by asking, “How did you come to call 3ABN?”
“Oh, my journey of faith began when I was ten, the year my mother converted to Adventism. I remember the joy of going door to door sharing literature. I was baptized at eleven, and told the pastor I wanted to serve the Lord. But by fourteen, I began to rebel, and by sixteen, I stole from my mother and ran away from home.
“Even when I slept on park benches, I thanked God for never leaving me, and sang, ‘You are my hiding place.’ I was keeping dangerous company, but the Lord protected me. The prayers of my mother and her church family brought me home.
“At eighteen, I met the man I married. We were unequally yoked—I believed in the Creator, he thought we descended from monkeys. I had my first child at 20, then another. Although the world had a grip on me, I went to church, but still partied on weekends. But I had my children dedicated to God.
“My life was spiraling downward, and I began watching 3ABN. I adored my husband but he was distancing himself from me. I did all I could to please him, but it was never enough. He remained lost in his greed, convinced he would never face the consequences of his actions. Now, more than ever, I needed God’s guidance. I longed to serve Him, to offer Bible studies, canvass door to door. I was at a crossroads, so I cried out to God, ‘What do I do next?’”
Friends and family told her the truth she had refused to see: she had made an idol out of the man she had married. God, in His mercy, impressed upon her heart a powerful message: “Do not regard your wayward husband. Do not cry for him, for he has already turned away from Me. Look to Me as your Husband, I will hold your hand.”
Lisa still clung to hope as she tried to regain her husband’s love. Then her father was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma. Lisa fasted, prayed, and clung to God’s Word—and in mercy, God healed her father.
A hunger for the Lord consumed her, and she yearned to follow His call. She was impressed to move away from the city for a better life, but her husband resisted, mocking her dreams. When her extended family moved to another state, she told him, “I will go—with or without you.” But when a pastor’s words warned against women making such choices, she stayed.
Regret settled in. Her husband’s resentment grew. He withdrew, abandoned their love, stayed out late, and treated her with cold indifference. She prayed, fasted, begged God to help her be a better wife. Love, she reminded herself, was not an emotion—it was a choice. But no matter how much she tried, he pulled further away. Then came the final blow—he told her it was over. She was no longer wanted.
Even then, she stayed. She moved back in with him for the sake of their children, continued to cook, clean, and work, all while he gave his love to other women. And then, God spoke.
He has been your idol, the Lord revealed. You gave him all your love, your energy, your devotion. You cannot serve two masters.
Her family echoed God’s words. They had seen it all along. She had placed her husband above her faith, above her calling. Now, she knew the truth—God could not fully use her while she was enslaved to a broken marriage.
But God takes care of His children. He does not abandon them in their suffering. He was calling her back, yearning to complete the work He had begun in her.
Lisa’s heart still ached, but she was no longer bound by the chains of her past. She surrendered completely to God, trusting that He alone would guide her steps. The harvest was ripe, and He needed her to labor for His kingdom.
For now, she is separated from the man she married. Now, she asks only for prayers—for her husband, and for her children, that they, too, might come to know the Lord. Because even through heartbreak, God is faithful. Lisa’s Maker is her Husband (Isaiah 54:5).
*A pseudonym.
