“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be [a]perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:4
I just celebrated another birthday, and that always gets me thinking about growing older. But not this year. For some reason, this year I thought about growing up!
As a young boy, I always wanted to be “all growed up.” Grownups had privileges. They could do stuff. And they knew stuff, too. They could talk about so many things because they’d experienced so much.
Then, after a while, I was expected to “grow up,” or act like it, anyway—and I didn’t like that so much.
As I thought about my birthday (and I’ve had quite a few!) I realized that for the most part, I have grown up—in chronological years, but also mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
As I pondered, I realized that I never could accept criticism. It always felt like an attack. But today, depending on how spiritually fit I am at that moment, I’m honestly glad for the opportunity to make amends if I’ve harmed someone while being genuinely thankful for the opportunity to improve.
No longer am I plagued by self-pity, nor do I expect special consideration or recognition. My feelings are no longer easily hurt, and I rarely feel that my self-worth is under attack. I know what God thinks of me, despite my flaws, and I am confident of His love.
I’m generally not ruled by my feelings, and God gives me the ability to control my temper by reminding me to turn things over to Him. I still have trouble if the heat is turned up gradually, though. It seems that if I don’t notice it, little things can pile up to the point where my I-can’t-take-this-anymore attitude boils over. But most of the time, I look for the exit ramp off that road and ask God to get me out of my head so I can do the right thing.
Another sign that I’ve grown up a lot is that I can handle emergencies with calmness. After several serious health problems, the loss of family and friends to illness, and a few other tragedies, I’ve learned that in time, God always puts things into perspective and shows me how my difficult experiences can benefit others.
I’ve learned how to spot my part in things and accept responsibility for my actions—admitting when I’m wrong and asking forgiveness quickly. I’ve learned how to own my part and not point out anyone else’s flaws, since there is a bit of bad in the best of us, and a bit of good in the worst of us. Kindness, first and foremost, is how I want to treat each person I meet, since everyone is fighting a battle I know nothing about!
Today, I’m far less impatient—unless I’m hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. I can endure defeat and disappointment without whining or complaining, and I can let go and let God take care of things I can do nothing about.
I’ve learned the futility of worrying about things—and that if I am afraid, I need to just focus on God’s goodness, trusting He will work things out according to His perfect will for my life!
I am honestly thrilled to see others succeed, and have learned to be an encourager, rather than a fault-finder. I have also become open-minded enough to listen thoughtfully to others’ opinions, without arguing with them, or trying to change their mind.
Instead, I’ve learned to help by asking them thoughtful questions, and for the most part, I’ve stopped telling them how they should think or act. You see, I believe the Holy Spirit works on different people in different ways—and at different speeds. So it’s better if I get out of His way and let Him do His work. After all there is a difference between doing God’s work and doing God’s job….
How has all this happened? By faith in God—and a lot of practice. I have learned that I’m a spoke in the wheel, but I’m no big deal. God has a place for each of us, and that I must be about my Father’s business if I am going to spend what little time I have left in this world being happy. I have learned to practice the Lord’s commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself.”
As an alcoholic, I’ve learned to live as free as possible—always watching for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. I’ve learned to forgive more quickly, and to meditate on God’s amazing spiritual principles every day. I have been restored to sanity, and am able to make decisions without being overly influenced by my emotions. I enjoy looking for ways to encourage others and help them in any way I can, with no thought of reward.
As I think about all these changes, I’m also reminded that I will always have room to grow. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up saying, Good morning, God. What can I do for You today? And I’ll grow up just a little bit more.
